orphan

I'm 12 years old and have been an orphan for a while now. Everyone keeps asking me what I want to be when I grow up. They all give knowing looks to each other and me, expecting me to say something like "doctor' or "dentist" because that's all they know. Me? I have no idea. I'm only 10! besides, there's so much out there that's exciting and interesting why do I have to choose now?

I could be a writer. Or an opthamologist. But really, what does that take? I heard something about having to go to school 'till I'm 25 or somehting. That's a LONG time. Why do they have to keep asking me? Why do they need an answer?

So I tell them. I'm going to be dentist. Or an ophtamologist. Cuz that's what the tests all say. But they say I could be a teacher, too. So why do things have to be so confusing?

I love all my classes. I read everything I get my hands on. but no one seems to think that it's OK for me to just be me.

So many expectations. So much pressure. I can't stand it.

I get books from other people about being a doctor in far away places. I love the pictures and places in the photographs, I wish i could visit.

But why do they keep asking me what I want to be when I grow up?

Are they happy? All I hear are them complaining about their jobs, how they don't know how they're going to pay the bills, how much things cost these days... If that's what being an adult is, I don't want to be one.

What will I be like in 15 years? 20 years? I don't know. I can't think past lunch today. And I get to cook!

Yesterday I read the "P" encyclopedia. Got halfway through and wondered what else there was in Peru that would be exciting to see... Llamas & people with red rosy cheeks... mountains.